June 1, 2008
-
There is a song by Shinedown that includes the line "I wonder if the things I did were just to be different." I certainly wonder that from time to time.
People who have known me since the beginning of high school or longer know that my personality took a great turn September of my Junior year of high school. I became much more outgoing, and began to give hugs. This wasn't as big a change as it seemed, though. I had always been outgoing, I just disliked being in close proximity to people. I decided that I had to become more comfortable with that for some plays I was in, so I forced myself to bring people inside my bubble.
When I came to college, I was once more surrounded by people that I didn't know at all. I fell back into my shell, but only when I was "up north" at college. Back at home, surrounded by familiar people and places, I was able to force myself to be outgoing again. I recently started a new job working alongside the Cool Cats. They're a fun bunch of people, and I knew about half of them before the summer started. So I opened up a bit. I still don't like physical proximity, but I'll talk about more than technical topics. Sometimes it's even just a normal chat (at least, I think it is).
The thing that strikes me is how often I hear from Tony that "He's usually not like this!" It makes me wonder who SBC (that's me!) really is. Am I the guy who is quiet, nice, but usually shy and hidden, or am I the one who is loud and outgoing? I don't know, and I don't really think I'll ever find out. Maybe I'm just a conditional personality, and who I am depends on who is around me.
On another note, I don't like not having Internet access where I live. It makes it most hard to check and respond to emails, and when I come up with really cool thoughts or questions, I can never remember them when I make it to the Library in some free time to write about it. Tonight, as you can tell, is the exception. Also on the housing front is the fact that I now have the basement to myself. So, no internet, but lots of space. Kinda.
Comments (3)
I'm kind of like you.. it takes me a bit of time to warm up to people and feel comfortable , but I really am an outgoing person once I know them. I like the way you put it though.. a conditional personality haha
maybe you could carry around a little pad of paper for when those moments of blogging inspiration hit you
I've wrote on the backs of receipts, my garbage, my hands any new blogging ideas when I'm out since I know I forget them very quickly
being at school, being on your own....this makes for becomming 'different." But you know what? ; you still have the same core, same inner kid. It is such an amazing growing process, and we just keep on growing!~ Life truly is wonderful. Even when it is hard, if you can just hold on to get around that bend.
Anyone who is halfway intelligent will have some degree of "conditional personality." They'll know what they feel comfortable with in different setting and will thus act that way.
I've found that the truth to the question of who you (meaning any one person) are, can only be found somewhere in between all the different facets of your personality. Each person you meet only caches a small part of who you are. There is no way for them to know the entire picture. It's nearly imposable for an one person to know himself/herself that well.
Comments are closed.